Kiss Me Hard Before You Go
by Katherine Houghton Beckett
Summary: We navigate blindly throughout the winding course of our lives; we make our decisions and choices as best we can. We might not always make the right decision to begin with; but what makes us human is the capacity to admit our mistakes and to try again. Caskett fic based on the 5x24 promos, short chapter fic and semi AU.
1. Chapter 1

I don't often watch sneak peeks or the promos for new episodes… I did however watch the ones for Watershed. I don't actually believe that Caskett will break up in the finale; I have faith in Andrew Marlowe and his muse, and of course in Rick and Kate, and their promise of _always._ But my muse kinda ran away from me and this is the result. It'll be a small multi-chapter fic. It does start sad and angsty but it'll have a happy ending.

The story does contain spoilers from the promos and Molly Quinn's recent interview.

The chapter isn't beta-ed so all mistakes are mine.

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**Kiss Me Hard Before You Go**

_We navigate blindly throughout the winding course of our lives; we make our decisions and choices as best we can. We might not always make the right decision to begin with; but what makes us human is the capacity to admit our mistakes and to try again._

Richard Castle sat in front of his laptop in the quiet, darkened study. The golden glow of the desk lamp filtered across the room, chasing away the shadows. It was late, his eyes burned and his fingers hovered over the keyboard. The words didn't find him.

He hadn't been able to sleep since she'd gone. He'd thought writing would help; he had accomplished some of his best work with an unsettled heart. But not this time, not when his muse he left him behind.

His eyes wandered gladly from the computer screen to the cityscape cast out beyond the glass. The evening's rain hadn't seized. It blotted against the windowpane and bounced off the skyscrapers. Rick reclined in his chair, stretching his arms above his head. He conceded that wasn't going to get anything done tonight. His mind was elsewhere, occupied with regret, and certainly not in the realms of creativity.

A soft bleeping emanating from the laptop brought his gaze back to the desk. The little invitation box popped open over his blank page. His eyes traced over the sentence and he momentarily considered taking the offer. He missed her. He wanted to know that she was okay. Even in the depths of his hurt knowing that she was happy and safe still mattered to him.

But the pain within was still raw and his pride won out. With a low sigh, he stubbornly reached out with an index finger to decline the chat. He put his computer to sleep before standing up and pacing over to the window. New York reflected and glittered before him, shining with promise, bathed in a fluid light.

Dreams were born in this city. And he'd dreamed a lot while staring down at this spectacular view. And he'd made a lot of them come true. He'd been surrounded by fame, fortune, and success for almost as long as he could remember. There wasn't much the best-selling author couldn't claim.

And yet she'd slipped through his fingers.

He'd let her go. He still couldn't believe she was no longer a constant presence in his everyday life. Kate Beckett had chosen to take the job in DC. They'd fought long and hard, and he guessed she'd won.

Only she hadn't won, his heart recognized that much. She'd cried as she voiced her decision. She had wanted to make things work between them. She'd taken his hands in her own, telling him that they could make this work. She reminded him that they had been through so much more; they'd faced bigger adversities and lived to see another day. Kate had believed that they could make this work; that a long distance relationship could be possible if they both worked at it.

But he'd disagreed, letting his hurt and disappointment rule his own decision. He was mad that she hadn't told about the job offer and the interview to begin with. He had trouble understanding why he, and _they_, weren't enough for her. He'd thought she was happy and content with their life here.

In truth he'd wanted her to choose him. He'd loved her and stood by her pretty much from the moment she'd come into his life. He'd put her first, always, and he had wanted her to do the same this time. This time he'd wanted her to choose him over her career. And he'd been crushed when she hadn't.

He hadn't wanted her leave. Watching her leave their life behind broke him.

But he'd let her go because that was what she wanted. He'd always believed that she was extraordinary, a force to be reckoned with, and destined for greatness. He couldn't be the one who stood in the way of that.

"Dad," Alexis's voice stirred him from the view outside. She traipsed softly in the room, coming to stand at her father's side. She looked beautiful in a sea blue dress, and coming home past midnight after going out on a date. "You're still up?"

"I couldn't sleep," Rick explained; his bed offered little solace without her lying beside him. "I thought I'd do some writing."

His daughter looked at him, concern written all over her pretty features. "Get much done?"

Rick shook his head, not needing to vocalize his answer.

"Have you talked her?" Even though over the past few months had put a strain on their relationship it was still pretty obvious to the wise Alexis who was responsible for keeping her father up at night and preventing him from writing.

"No," he answered honestly. He had driven Kate to the airport over a month ago and they hadn't spoken since. It wasn't necessarily for lack of tying on Kate's part, she'd called him several times, but he hadn't found the strength to answer. She'd sent a handful of texts, letting him know how she was doing, and he'd answered some of them. Words usually came easier to him in the form of writing he supposed, especially when hurt feelings were at stake.

"It might make you feel better…," She hated to see him like this. Her father had been so happy with Kate; possibly happier than he'd ever been. But Alexis did understand Kate's need to chase her new-found opportunity and discover an untapped potential. Alexis could more than relate to that. What she didn't understand is how two people who loved each other so much could throw it all away.

"Want to do something together tomorrow night?" she suggested then. "We can order in, watch some movies…."

Rick smiled, spending time with his little girl always made him feel better. "That'd be nice." Just like old times; he'd missed that. He was glad the relationship between him and his daughter was beginning to get back on track.

"Good, then it's a date," Alexis returned his smile before she reached up to hug him.

He squeezed her shoulder gently after she whispered a 'I love you, dad' into his shirt and he replied in kind. Alexis was all grown up, and exploring her independence. And that had been hard for him to see and accept. But he was trying to give her the space she needed, trying to accept that she no longer needed protecting every moment of the day.

Alexis had come back to stay for a while, to repair their own bond that was somewhat shattered since the kidnapping. Having her back home, even if it was temporary, before she disappeared to travel the world, offered a great comfort. Knowing that he and his child were attempting to mend their relationship and become close again meant so much.

Alexis broke from the tender moment, "I'm going to bed. You should try to get some rest too."

"I will," he promised her quietly before she walked away and up the stairs.

"Dad?" Alexis asked softly, turning back to face him and not quite making it out of the den.

"Yes, sweetheart."

Curiosity burned through her and after a beat the words tumbled out. "Why didn't you ask her to stay?"

The question that came out of his daughter's mouth was one that Rick had asked himself over and over every day. It was a question he couldn't find the answer to; not for himself, let alone anyone else. He should have been able to make her stay.

Kate had asked him where he saw their relationship going. They'd been together for a year; they'd known each other, and been partners for five. Kate had wanted assurance and maybe a more stable form of commitment; although she hadn't said as much.

His mother had told him quite plainly that if he didn't want Kate to go, he should have put a ring on her finger.

In truth, Rick could see himself marrying Kate. He'd envisioned it since he'd realized he was in love with her. Kate was the kind of woman he wanted to promise forever too. He knew he'd always love her.

But the fact remained that he'd already been married twice. He'd gone into both of those commitments too quickly. He hadn't wanted to rush into things with Kate, for fear of repeating those mistakes.

"It's complicated…."

"It shouldn't be complicated if you're in love," Alexis replied in a gentle tone. She was still young and a romantic at heart. "You always told me to follow my heart and do what makes me happy." That was a value her father instilled in her at an early age and one she intended to hold on to. "She makes you happy."

Rick didn't know how to reply to that and Alexis didn't say anything further; she offered a tiny smile before she left the room and disappeared upstairs.

Alone again, he was left to ponder over Alexis's words of idyllic wisdom. He drew a shallow breath before flicking off the lamp and retiring from the study. He moved into the bedroom, the light illuminating in his large and empty room. He closed the drapes and changed into his bedclothes.

Before climbing into bed he started about the space. Kate's books and a few of her other belongings still lay on surfaces next to her side of the bed. Her things were still nestled in her drawer. He should clear them away and send them on but he still needs those little reminders of her. They offer a source of comfort.

Slowly he slipped between the covers and reached across the unoccupied space beside him for one of Kate's pillows. He couldn't bring himself to wash away her fragrance from the pillowcase just yet. There was still a faint hint of cherries on the satin fabric. He held it close to his chest, staring up at the stark ceiling and willing sleep to come.

* * *

The shrill ringing stirred Rick from a fitful sleep mere hours later. With a low grunt he lifted his heavy eyelids and pushed against the sheets. His hand crept its way blindly against the wood of his nightstand. He reached for his phone, wanting nothing more than to silence the offending noise.

His fingers curled around the cell and his blurry vision didn't recognize the number. At this time in the morning he guessed it had something to do with criminal activity. In his experience it always did.

"Hello?" he answered gruffly, bringing the phone to his ear.

"Mr. Castle?"

Rick frowned; he didn't recognize the female voice on the other end of the line. "Speaking," he confirmed, sitting up straighter among the covers.

"Mr. Castle, I'm calling from Providence Hospital in Washington DC."

An icy sensation stabbed at Rick's heart. Something had happened to Kate. Worry and urgency filled him as he listened to the nurse.

He slipped out of bed in a flash. He tried to process what the nurse was saying while already planning to jump on the first available flight to DC. His heart and his protective instinct overruled his hurt; if Kate needed him he would be there for her.

To be continued…

* * *

Thank you for your time.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note – Thank you so much for all the interest you've shown in the story so far. It means a lot. And I need to apologize for the lateness in posting this chapter. I haven't been well this last month so that's why there has been a delay. However I'm pretty much back to full health so chapters should come quicker from now on.

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**Kiss Me Hard Before You Go**

**Chapter 2**

Slowly stirring from a shallow sleep Kate Beckett opened her eyes. Her lashes blinked repeatedly against the florescent lighting; the harsh brightness served only to make her weary head throb. She reached a hand to her brow, shielding her eyes, and breathing through the onset of nausea. She waited several moments, lying perfectly still as her eyes adjusted to the light. The worst of the sickness soon passed, and she dropped her hand back down to the bed. She shifted listlessly against scratchy blankets, and the soreness from her injuries sparked through her.

Disorientated from a troubled sleep, shock, and medication, Kate lifted her head from the pillow to get a better look at her surroundings. Her left side was tender at her ribcage, making the simple movement difficult; she braced her bandaged hand on the bed's side rail for support. She was lying on a hospital bed, in the ER. She took in the clinically white space, the wires, the machines, and equipment at her side. The smell of disinfectant tingled at her nostrils and she moaned from the back of her dry throat.

Tired from the exertion she breathed deeply, focusing down at the shiny, tiled floor. In a split second, memories of the day before flooded back to her; she'd been investigating a series of car bombings in, and around, the Washington area. She and the task force had tracked down a man they believed to be responsible. A witness had come forward, placing their suspect, Aaron Schmidt, at the scene of the latest bombing just moments before an explosion. The team had planned to raid an abandoned apartment complex downtown, where Schmidt reportedly was staying.

A quiet tapping of steps coming toward her, and Kate raised her gaze to see a nurse. The woman was in her late forties. She had round rosy cheeks and a kind smile. "Lay back, sweetheart," the nurse requested in a gentle voice, "You need to rest."

"What… what happened?" Kate rasped. She didn't attempt a protest as the other woman coaxed her to lie down.

"You don't remember? You were attacked," the nurse told her while fixing the blankets back in place. "You're in the ER, Kate."

Kate frowned, touching her fingers to her bruised head. The events of that night were still jumbled in her mind. She recalled sitting in the surveillance van along with her unit. They'd holed up in the cramped, sweaty van for most of the evening with no sighting of Schmidt. They had begun to think that the night was a bust. That was until an unmarked car pulled up in front of the building and three men stepped out; one was their perpetrator. The others were known associates in suspected terrorist circuits.

The men disappeared inside the blackened building and the team made their move. They'd stormed toward the complex, bursting through and quickly apprehending the first two men. Schmidt had managed to escape through a back door. Kate had given chase. She'd sprinted through a back alley and vaulted a small fence after the suspect. Schmidt had done his best to shake her, up-turning trash cans in her path. With her legs pumping against the rain-soaked path, she had dodged the obstructions and continued in her pursuit.

The man had navigated the twists and turns of the maze nestled between the residential dwellings with ease. Kate thought he knew the area well and had planned his route ahead of time; if a speedy getaway was needed. With the rain pouring from the dark sky, Schmidt raced across another street, almost colliding with a car. Kate paused for a split second as the vehicle drove away and Schmidt disappeared into an adjacent alley. She sprinted after him; she could hear the sounds of back up speeding to meet her.

Now back under the cover of the backstreet, Kate rounded a tight corner. She slowed in her chase; her hand griped her gun tighter. She'd thought she'd lost Schmidt. She heard the crumpling of dirt and he appeared from behind her. He'd landed a blow to her head and she'd staggered to the ground. Dazed for a split second, she remembered Schmidt stamping on her wrist before snatching the gun savagely from her hand. He'd loomed over her, pointing her gun down at her face and sneering.

She'd stared up into his black eyes and braced herself for whatever fate waited for her.

Agent Max Carter had fired a shot, catching Schmidt in the shoulder, and stopping his assault on Kate. Schmidt crumpled down beside her, clutching at his bloodied arm. Carter swiftly closed in and kicked the gun away from Schmidt's reach.

The details after that were vague and fuzzy. Kate remembered the rest of the task force swarming on the scene and securing Schmidt. She recalled Carter crouching down next to her, talking to her, keeping her conscious, until the red and blue flashing lights of the ambulance appeared. Schmidt was strapped into a stretcher, to seek medicine attention before going to jail. Kate had grumbled a handful of replies to the paramedics' routine questions before they took her to the hospital.

"Schmidt, the man who came in when I did…?"

"He'll live," the nurse interrupted, with little sympathy for the wanted criminal. "You really should try to rest. I'll let the doctor know you're awake." With that the rosy-cheeked woman walked away.

Kate attempted to settle while she waited for the doctor. She didn't like hospitals much. They held too many associations for her that she would rather forget; memories of having her tonsils removed as a child, of visiting her father in the ER after he'd driven drunk and crashed his car, and she'd attempted to encourage him to battle his alcoholism; and more recently of recovering from her shooting. Hospitals only served as reminders of times when Kate had felt scared and helpless, and she hated to feel either of those things.

Her doctor, a woman wearing the signature white coat over salmon colored scrubs appeared. Her auburn hair was tied in a loose, messy bun, and she looked to be in her late thirties. She was armed with a clipboard, to check the patient's vitals. She smiled kindly before drawing the long, pale curtains around Kate's cubicle to give them some privacy.

"I'm Dr. Anita Walker," she said by way of introduction and Kate offered a small smile in return. "How are you feeling? Are you in any pain or discomfort?"

"No, I'm fine," Kate insisted, though her voice sounded weak to her own ears. "The painkillers helped."

"That's good." The doctor glanced over at the machine's data and scribbled some notes on the clipboard.

"Can I go home now?" Kate was already shifting out from her place on the bed.

"Not just yet. We'd like to keep you in overnight for observation."

"Can't you just write me a prescription for some pills? I'm sure there's someone who needs this bed a lot more than I do."

"You have a concussion," Dr Walker replied firmly. "You're not going anywhere."

"I'm fine. Really," she insisted. Her mind fluttered to the pile of paperwork waiting on her desk. Schmidt may have been apprehended but it didn't necessarily mean the case was closed. And she didn't want to be in this place longer than necessary.

"There's something else," the other woman interjected.

"What?" The doctor's tone, and the expression on her face, stilled Kate's eagerness to climb out of the bed.

"You're pregnant, Kate."

Her mouth dropped open, and it took Kate a beat to process the sentence. "What? That's not possible…." She couldn't be. She and Rick had always been so careful. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," Dr. Walker nodded assertively. She was silent from a moment, letting her patient absorb the news.

"How long?" She needed the facts.

"Eight weeks."

A soft sigh passed through Kate's lips. The information filtered into her mind and brought her hand up to her lips. Eight weeks ago everything had seemed perfect. She'd just confessed her love to Rick; their relationship was strong. They were happy.

"The pregnancy wasn't planned?" Dr. Walker inquired delicately.

"No. We…," as Kate struggled to find the words; she decided not to say anything at all. She wouldn't even know where to begin, everything was such a mess.

"Is the baby okay?" Panic set in. She'd just been attack. It might have hurt the baby. She looked searchingly at the other woman. All her thoughts and concerns turned to her unborn child. Even among all the uncertainty the baby mattered more. Their baby mattered above everything else.

"The baby seems fine." The doctor offered her a gentle, reassuring smile. "But we want to keep you in for a while and run some more tests to be sure."

"Okay." Kate tried to stay calm while processing all the implications. "Do you have children?"

"No," the other woman said. The long hours make things difficult."

Kate nodded. She could certainly relate to that.

"Is there anyone you want us to call for you?"

"The father," Kate answered simply. The only person she wanted to see was Rick. He deserved to know that he was going to be a father again.

* * *

Rick had caught the first available flight out to Washington DC. He'd sat in first class, nervously tapping his knee, after downing the complimentary glass of champagne and not touching his breakfast. The short one-hour journey had seemingly taken forever. He'd ignored the flirtatious attention from the young, blonde stewardess and stared out at the fluffy clouds cast against a blue sky. Too many scenarios entered into his head during that hour. He breathed in deeply and tried hard to think positively.

Once the plane touched down in DC, he made straight for the airport's exit. He'd wisely decided to carry-on and didn't need to go to baggage claim. He made it through security quickly, and practically sprinted through the large, revolving doors, waving his hand and hailing for a cab. One stopped for him immediately, and Rick hopped in.

"Where to?" the taxi driver asked in a cheerful voice as Rick settled into the back of the car.

"Providence Hospital," Rick replied. He leaned forward in his seat, slipping a hundred-dollar bill into the driver's hand. "As fast as you can."

"You got it." The man took the money with a wide smile before peeling away from the concourse.

In spite of the throngs of rush-hour traffic, the cab pulled up in front of the large hospital building in no time at all. Rick muttered a sincere 'thank you,' before stepping out onthe sidewalk. The early morning sun shone down, drying off the wet streets, and warming his skin. He hoisted the over-night bag over his shoulder, hurrying up the steps, and into the modern structure.

He walked hastily to the front desk tucked just inside the hospital. He was met by a blonde woman who manned the welcoming station. Her hair was scraped back into a tight bun which served only to accentuate her already prominent cheekbones. She flashed a smile in his direction as he approached.

"Good morning. How can I help you?" she asked in a sweet, sing-song voice. Her ruby-red lips curled into a bright smile, and Rick had to wonder why she was so chirpy; hospitals were supposed to be depressing places, full of disease and sadness.

"My girlfriend…," Rick hesitated ash he began; he wasn't sure what they were to each other anymore. He paused, clearing his throat before continuing, "Kate Beckett was admitted into this hospital last night. Could you tell me what room she's in?"

"Certainly! Let me just take a look on the system" The woman, Lisa, as her name tag read, turned her attention to the computer screen. "What did you say her name was?"

"Kate Beckett," Rick repeated, a note of impatience tinting his voice.

Pursing her glossy lips together in concentration, Lisa clicked the mouse and tapped on the keyboard while she navigated through the system. "Kate Beckett has just been moved to room 347, it's on the third floor. Take the first elevator down the hall to your right," she added helpfully, pointing a manicured finger in that direction. "You'll come out just in front of the nurse's station, take a left and you'll find room 347 third to your right."

"Thank you," Rick uttered gratefully, now warming to Lisa as she went above her job to help him.

"You're welcome," Lisa replied cheerily. "Take care."

Rick followed the perky receptionist's instructions to the letter, and much to his relief reached Kate's room with ease. He found her sleeping. She looked small among the white blankets, her long, loose curls spilling over the pillow in thick waves. For a moment as he watched her, he almost forgot about everything else.

She opened her eyes slowly, the detective in her probably sensing she was being watched. "Castle?" she rasped her gaze unfocused as she woke.

"Hey." He stood in the doorway of the room. Kate still had an uncanny knack for making him a little nervous and unsure.

"Hey," Kate replied sleepily and shifted under the covers. She inclined her head to face him; she looked relieved to see him.

"Ouch!" Rick uttered, noticing the ugly, dark bruising etched across her temple and her cheek. It looked to him that she'd taken a pretty serious blow. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a little banged up." Kate sat up a little straighter, wincing with pain caused by the slight motions. They both knew that she wasn't fine. But given her stubborn nature, she would insist that she was even if the evidence pointed to the contrary. "You should see the other guy," she joked lightly, and earned a slight smile from him.

"What happened? Were you hurt on the job?" Rich entered the room now, dropping his overnight bag on the floor at the end of the bed. He came to stand at her side.

"Yeah, I chased after a suspect," she explained. "He jumped me." Rick listened quietly as Kate filled him in on the outline of her case, without providing the specifics which she probably wasn't at liberty to say. He knew well enough that she would always step up to help people. She had a good heart. She was the girl who carried the weight of the world and believed she could leap tall buildings. And sometimes she would end up putting herself in jeopardy for the sake of others welfare. That was who she was. It was indeed one of the reasons he'd fallen for her.

Though it occurred to him that back in New York if she, or indeed himself, Ryan or Esposito went off half-cocked on occasion, the rest of the team weren't ever far behind to provide back up. Something like this never would have happened back home. They always had each others backs; they looked out for each other in that way. He'd come to see them almost as an extended family.

"Did they catch the guy?" he asked, pushing the thoughts from his mind.

"Yes, they did."

"I'm glad."

Kate smiled softly, "Thank you for coming," she said sincerely after a moment. "I wasn't sure you would."

"I get a call from a hospital in DC at 4am; of course I'm going to come." His response came out a little more forcefully than he'd intended. He couldn't help the defensiveness that laced its way into his tone. He'd taken that call and he hadn't known what to think. He hadn't known what he'd be walking into, but not being there for her had not been an option. It never had been, even when it cost him emotionally. He'd always be there.

He watched the flicker of doubt spread its way across her pretty features. And he felt an eerie, heavy distance filter between them. He took a deep breath before saying anything any else.

"I'm sorry," he uttered. She was hurt and he was still on edge with worry. Now was not the time to start fighting with her.

Kate shook her head in quiet resolution, "I'm not asking you to be sorry. I just…." Her voice drifted off.

There was something else, something submerged in her green eyes. Rick's brow creased as he stared down at her. He knew that look, and from his experience he sensed she was holding something back.

"What aren't you telling me?" he questioned tentatively.

Her expression clouded with hesitation before she spoke, "I'm pregnant, Rick."

"Pregnant?" Rick echoed back. He'd envisioned a lot of scenarios since he'd taken that call last night and hurried to DC, but pregnancy wasn't one of them. He was relieved, and shocked all at once.

Kate nodded but remained silent. She watched his face closely, searchingly, waiting to see his reaction.

With the news weighing heavily down on his shoulders, Rick moved to sit in the chair beside her. "Did you know?"

"No, I just found out," Kate answered. She'd been so preoccupied with the new job, getting to grips with her new colleagues, and with the ways they liked to work, and the new procedures. She hadn't had much time for anything else. Any spare moment she did have was filled by missing him. It wasn't like she hadn't been late before; what with the demands of the precinct and the many long hours. And the fact that she and Rick had always been so careful, falling pregnant wasn't something she'd expected to happen.

"I'd been feeling under the weather for a few days but I figured it was just a bug," she added in trying to bridge the silence as Rick sat with his hands folded in his lap.

"Is the baby okay?" he asked after a few moments ticked by.

"The doctor says the baby's fine." Rick sounded about as worried as she felt in the pit of her stomach. She attempted to sound as calm and assured as she possibly could. Dr. Walker and the medical staff would come to check on her every-so-often, and they kept telling her everything would be alright and she should rest, but she'd be lying if she said that until she heard the test results she wouldn't be a little on edge. Or that she wouldn't fear the worst. "They're running some tests."

He nodded, resting his back against the chair. "How far along are you?"

"Eight weeks."

"Oh!" Rick uttered quietly.

Of course he remembered that day as well as she did; Kate had inadvertently stepped on a pressure sensitive bomb buried beneath the floorboards. He could have lost her, and with all the stress, danger, and uncertainty the case and the situation presented, he'd stood right by her side. He'd refused to be anywhere other than with her. How could he have been; she was his everything and his always. She'd confessed her love to him that day. They'd become closer than ever.

He'd gone home with her that night; she was safe, warm, and so very alive in his arms. He'd felt like the luckiest man in the world. They were in love, and only the best was yet to come. He'd honestly believed that nothing could touch them. If he thought about how he'd felt then, lying with this remarkable woman wrapped up tightly beside him, he wouldn't have been able to comprehend how they could have reached this point.

"Castle…," Kate's words stirred him from his recollection. Her glance was focused toward the door. He tilted his head to watch an auburn haired doctor stride into the room; she introduced herself to Rick, and Kate's fingers moved to curl around his hand, clenching tightly. He stroked his thumb lightly against her skin, in trying to bring them both calm familiarity and comfort in an uncertain moment.

When Doctor Walker relayed that all the test results had come back clear, relief washed over Rick. By a twist of events he'd just learned he was going to be a father for a second time. The prospect of being a parent was something he'd need to prepare himself for all over again, and his relationship with Kate was shaky and unknown at this point, but in spite of that, learning that Kate was carrying his baby had made him feel happier than he had done in weeks.

* * *

Kate was discharged from the hospital later that evening, with the condition that she took two weeks of bed rest. The fall rain had returned, beating down upon them, as she and Rick hailed a cab. Despite that they sat in silence, the drive took no time at all. The car pulled up along her building, and she was the first to push a wad of bills into the driver's awaiting hand, earning her a look from Rick. She climbed out onto the rain-soaked street, leaving him to follow, and led the way up to her apartment. She let them in and flicked on the lights. She squinted against the assaulting brightness, her head still recovering. She dropped her purse, the bag of prescription medication, and keys on the nearby table out of habit.

"Nice place," Rick uttered, wandering further inside and looking around the room. He deposited his bag next to the plush couch.

"Thanks." The old building with its high ceilings and wooden beams had reminded her of where she'd lived before. That was why she'd picked it out of the dozens the real estate agents had recommended. It had a lot of potential and she'd planned on doing it up; giving it a cozy, bohemian vibe. She just hadn't gotten round to it yet. Her boxes were still stacked and doted around the substantial space; she'd only bothered to unpack the daily essentials so far.

"Where's your bedroom?" he asked, closing the distance between them and gently taking her by the arm.

Kate's lips twitched, and a cheeky retort made its way to the tip of her tongue but she thought better of it. "Second door on the left. You're staying?" she added as an afterthought. She figured given the awkward circumstances hanging between them that he would have been more comfortable having a bolthole in one of his fancy hotels.

"The doctor said that you needed bed rest," Rick reminded her. "You're carrying my child. I'm not leaving you alone."

Her mood instantly brightened after he spoke those words, and she smiled softly. She really hadn't been sure of how he'd react to the news, or to the prospect of being a father again. Hearing him refer to the baby as his child awakened a fuzzy feeling deep in her stomach. It occurred to her that she actually didn't mind the idea of him staying over. She'd missed him and his companionship a lot; both personally and professionally, even when he was doing his best to drive her crazy. And they needed to talk. Really talk. There was so much that they needed to discuss. Having him close made working through things that much easier; and hopefully simpler.

"Okay," Kate accepted. She was too tired to feign any sort of protest.

"Okay?" Rick's tone betrayed his mild surprise. Normally the woman beside him never conceded even a mere inch without a fight.

"Hmm hmm." She led the way down the hall even though he still held her lightly at the elbow. A sideways glance and she caught the hint of a knowing smile dancing across his mouth.

Once inside her room, he saw the glimmering evidence of her hidden, free-spirited nature. She'd hung her contemporary paintings on the otherwise stark walls. Her ornaments and keep-sakes were cluttered every available surface. Clusters of books and files littered the bedside table along with an abandoned coffee cup. While the rest of the apartment was cold and white, this room was lived in, awash with color, art, and books.

"I got it from here," Kate prompted, uncurling her arm from his. She wanted to change into something more comfortable before settling into bed.

"Of course." Rick attempted to ignore the pang of sadness he felt in his gut. Her request to be left alone while she undressed served as a reminder that things were so different now, so strained, even though they were having a baby together. He retracted to give her some privacy. "You hungry?"

"I could eat," she replied with a nod.

"Okay," he was just grateful for something to do. He moved back to the door, closing it firmly behind him and headed for the kitchen.

Once alone, Kate gingerly lowered herself down onto the bed to take off her heels. She tried her best to ignore the sparks of pain and discomfort that traveled up her side. Taking a deep breath, she slowly got back to her feet. With movement difficult because of her injuries and tiredness she carefully peeled off her shirt and then her slacks, letting them fall to the floor. She didn't bother to retrieve them from the carpet. She rummaged through her drawers and changed into a loose-fitting tee and bed shorts.

She stepped over to the mirror standing beside her closet, staring at the woman reflected in the glass. She gathered her long, tousled hair and tied it back into a messy ponytail. Her fingers moved to touch at her bruised brow and cheek. Her index traced delicately along the injured skin, she knew it was going to take at least a week for the marks to fade.

She puffed out a resigning sigh and lowered her gaze from her reflection. But despite a sprained wrist and bruised ribs she knew she had gotten off lucky tonight. She could both see, and feel, the small bulge straining beneath the thin fabric of her tee. She touched her fingertips lightly to her stomach. She could explain the slight swell of her tummy as a result of her comfort eating of candy bars and cookies during late nights at the office, or the ice cream and Temptation Lane marathons on her weekends off, but given what she'd just discovered she'd realized the real reason behind her weight gain and subtle changes in her body.

Parenting was somewhat of a frightening unknown for Kate. They'd never really talked about having a family together; they hadn't really talked a lot about the future at all. She'd caught Rick's fleeting hints about maybe wanting kids. He was a great dad to Alexis; she'd seen that from the moment he'd waltzed into her life. He was as devoted and loving as they came. His creative, and sometimes childish, mind made her believe he'd be a wonderful father to this child. She had no doubt about his innate abilities.

In truth it was her abilities that stirred up her worries and uncertainties. She hadn't imagined herself with a family and children since her mother's death. Dreams of marriage and babies had died when she was nineteen. Until Rick.

Truthfully she was a little concerned about how she'd be as a mother. She'd put her career first for so long. She didn't know how she was going to balance work and a family. She'd faltered at maintaining a promotion with her long-term relationship after all. This newly discovered weighed down heavily upon her. She wiped a stray tear, trying to block out the nagging fear and insecurity she felt in that moment.

A soft knock at the door alerted her to Rick's returning presence and she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind. "Come in," she said softly. She reached for her gauzy white robe, huddling inside it.

The handle clicked and turned before he appeared. "Everything okay?" he asked noticing that she was standing closely to the mirror, her hand still draped across her stomach. A smile tugged at his lips; warmth surged through his heart, he liked seeing her in this tender way.

"Yeah." Kate attempted a bright smile, needing to convince herself more than him.

"I brought you these." He brandished a glass of water and the bag of prescription drugs.

"Thanks," she took them from him, setting them down on the bedside table. She was due her next dose within the hour; he always remembered everything. No small detail ever went past him.

"I'm going to run out to the store. The milk is off and I threw out some chicken that smelt worse than a dead body," he announced, pointing backward to the general direction of the kitchen for emphasis. Evidently Kate's old habits of keeping next to nothing in her fridge, and creating a tower out of Styrofoam containers, had returned since she'd come to DC.

"That isn't necessary." She pulled the robe around her body, knotting it securely at her waist. "We can just order in."

Rick pulled a face in disdain. "You're pregnant and you need to eat properly."

"Castle, stop fussing." She reached a hand up to her hair, brushing back her stray, tangled locks in mild irritation.

"You should lie down," Rick added. He knew she was going to be a difficult patient but he chose to ignore her willful protects. "You need to rest."

"I'm not an invalid," she bit back.

"No, but you were discharged on the condition that you got plenty of bed rest," he reminded her.

Kate held her tongue. She was used to giving the orders, not taking them. But he was right; she did need to rest, for herself and the baby. "Fine!" She moved over to the bed, peeling back the covers, and rearranging her pillows. She sank down, swinging her legs up and onto the mattress. Doing her utmost to avoid smug look etched on his face she pulled the covers up to her waist.

Rick didn't say anything further. He knew to take the victory when he got it. "I'll be right back," he promised, crossing back toward the door and then disappearing from view.

With him gone Kate rested back, the pillows propping her up. Her entire body welcomed the softness of the bed, and she stifled a little yawn with the back of her hand. Her fingers moved, lingering back toward her stomach. A wave of sentimentality took over, and a smile played at the corner of her lips. As complicated as things might be, she already loved the tiny life growing inside her.

* * *

Thank you for your time.


End file.
